Miguel: Your Birthstory

Today's the last day of my maternity leave anak and before things get too busy at work, I'd like to share with you what happened the day you were born.

August 2

11:30 AM

I was working from home that day and a few weeks prior due to high bp. I initially planned to stop working Friday as it was a Tueday but decided to extend it to two more days to complete all my pending work.

I just finished a call and went to the restroom and found that my spotting has increased. I messaged your mama's mommy mentor, April, and she told me that those are normal close to delivery. I've been spotting for a few days now and have been getting increasingly worried. 

I was comforted by the fact that your Tita Ninang Lala and your Lola Ligaya were flying in and would be here in time for mama's scheduled c-section on August 4. As soon as they arrived, we had lunch and I shared my worries on the spotting with them. I called the clinic and they advised me to just monitor as the bloody discharge is normal close to labor.

I was getting agitated and decided to come to the clinic with your Tita Ninang Lala to just get myself checked.

3pm - 8pm

During the routine checks, my bp registered a bit high, I think around 150/90. At the same time, I peed into the stick they usually gave me and for the first time, the color was different. It would usually be the same color which is blue but this time, it turned green! That scared me so I messaged your Papa and he went on his way to the clinic to join me and your Tita Ninang Lala. When I got to see Dr Paul Tseng, he checked and said that my cervix was still closed so the bloody discharge is also not a problem. He was more concerned about ensuring I didn't have pre-enclampsia so he ordered a blood test. Your Ninang Lala and I waited for the blood test results to come back. When we went up after an hour, I started to feel a bit strange so I requested one of the nurses to take my bp. The nurse had to take my bp multiple times and switch machines to make sure what she was seeing was correct: 180/110!!! It was way too high!

By this time, Dr Paul was already out of the clinic so the nurses informed him and he said that we'll have to do the CS earlier tomorrow morning or afternoon. They checked and there were no rooms in Alvernia at 8am, only 4pm next day. 

The blood test came back and fortunately, it was ok. Just the same, I knew I would not be able to sleep the night worrying about you so I asked Dr Paul if we can do it sooner. The nurses were also getting worried and they spoke to him. Finally he said yes and said he'll do it at 8pm! It was 6pm so that was quite a huge turn of events.

We were instructed to head down directly to Alvernia from Thompson. Unlike with your Kuya, the preps were a lot shorter because I did not go on active labor so I was simply prepped for CS. They hooked  me up to the fetal and bp monitor. Your Ninang went home to pick up our hospital bag. I informed your Lola and Ate Jinky about my impending delivery and they were surprised as I just went for check up and will now deliver. Another thing that was different this time around was that your Kuya Rafa was left at home. I was feeling emotional so I talked to your Kuya telling him that Mama and Papa cannot go home that night because we are at the hospital with Miguel. I also don't know if it's because I've gone thru it before but I felt more afraid this time. The nurse placed the catheter on me and I was in pain! I kept imagining the next steps of the operation and it scared me even more. Your Papa was more calm this time. I even had the time to chat with some friends telling them I'm giving birth soon. Pretty soon your Lola and Ninang arrived but I did not get to see them because at near 8pm, I was already rolled into the holding room before I go into the operating room.

In there, a Pinay nurse was asking me to sign a couple of documents because apparently some details were incorrectly filled from the clinic. I remember looking around and seeing the others who just finished with their operation or were being prepared like me.

The anaesthesiologist came over. He was less jolly than your Kuya's anaesthesiologist but I did notice that both seemed to want to be a bit chatty perhaps to relax me.

At exactly 8am, they rolled us into the operating room and they began to transfer me to the operating bed. In there, the anaesthesiologist took my iv which he had to redo (it gave me black bruises later). That made me a bit panicky about the next steps: the injections to the spine for the epi. He asked me to curl and started to inject but it was painful and I could feel his struggle and heard comments from him and the nurses. It was taking some time and getting painful and scary so I asked the Pinay nurse what's going on. She said he's having a hard time finding the spaces between my spine. I was so scared but I just gritted my teeth, closed my eyes and thought of your Kuya Rafa's face to calm myself down. It was the first time I experienced drawing strength and the will to live through my children. 

Finally, it was over. The feeling went away at my left side and I panicked a little saying I can still feel from the right but that quickly went away too.

Finally, Dr Paul came in. He was finally going to be able to help with the delivery. He was your Kuya's ob as well but he went on leave the day your Kuya was born. 

He was quite fast and pretty soon your Papa was asked to come in. A few minutes later, I heard the most beautiful sound. Your cries. I kept asking your Papa if you're ok and he was not answering as fast as I wanted to :) Finally he said, you were alright and for the first time in 9 months and that day, I felt so relieved.

I remember the first time I saw you! You looked like a Duarte, Mama's baby!!! They wrapped you up and had you lay near me. We asked that they take our family photo. See how happy we were below:

After the procedure, I became chatty and told the doctor that I'm glad we did it tonight and he said he was quite sure he would get woken up in the middle of the night so it was better to do it now. Haha!

A few minutes later they rolled me back to the recovery area then finally to our room in St Dominique's ward. 

Another difference this time around was that your Ninang and Lola were here instead of just me and your Papa. I could hear their excited whispers. I could see the welcome balloon they had for you! 

I was wondering where your Papa was and they told me he was processing some papers. I thought it was odd and suspected that he went back to the office so he can pick up his work laptop. A few minutes later he arrived and confirmed it! He was so excited to share to the world that you have arrived that went all the way to the office so he can edit our first family pic and share you with the world! Haha!

Once they rolled you in from the nursery for the first time, they asked me if I was going to breastfeed and I said yes so they helped me latch you on and this time, it was so much easier. I had a sense even when you were inside me that you would be so much like me and indeed you were. You had such a strong latch that I found it so endearing.

To this day, I find a lot of me in you and that makes you very close to my heart. 

You are now 1/2 a year old - A Day in the life of Papa, Mama & Rafa

dear rafa,
it's 1:57 am and i am waiting for the sun to rise so i can finally greet you a happy 6th month birthday! i bought you a new shirt, shades, some birthday banner, a numbered balloon, and a cute cake. beyond this, i am excited because later in the morning, you'll finally be introduced to solid food.
i got you some organic potatoes as i was not too sure what to feed you with. dr simon, your pedia said that we should feed you rice cereal but as i was staring at the grocery shelf earlier and looked at the multitude of baby boxes and cans, i felt a serious tug in my heart - i didn't want to feed with you food that comes from a packaging. i should feel a little sense of relief that now you would no longer fully rely on me for your food but i am feeling a bit sentimental. just before going out today, i tried to get you to latch on for hours. when i arrived from the grocery, i latched you on again and hugged you tight. i latched you on for as long as i could. and when i whispered my prayer as you latched on to me, you looked straight into my eyes. it was as if you were praying with me. i thanked the Lord for bringing you into our lives. i thanked Him for making you healthy and happy. i thank the Lord for having allowed me to bond with you thru breastfeeding. I thank Him for giving our family the strength to go thru this together. As I write, I am beside your papa. I thank the Lord for Him. He has been a real source of strength for me ever since I met him. He has not wavered in showing us how much he loves us.
Do you know that your Papa wakes up earlier every single morning so he can get to play with you just before he goes to work? Every morning, our routine would go like this: at 7am your Ate Jinky will bring you to me so I can feed you before going to work. While feeding you, your Papa would take a shower and right after sing his morning greeting, carry you, and get you to giggle as you look at yourself at the mirror. After that, you and your Papa would settle into the black chair and he will read to you loudly and you would turn the pages as if you cant wait for the next one. By the time you and Papa finish reading, Mama would have come out of the shower and you and your Papa would have been playing in the mat.
If Mama did not take too long to get ready, we'll  still have time to do our morning walk together. Your Papa will carry you till the gate and we'll bid you goodbye. During the day, your Papa and I will try to check on you once in a while by calling home and asking your Ate Jinky how you were or by taking a peep at you at the camera. While at work, I would visit the nursing room and try to pump at least 2-3 times during the day so you'd have milk the next day. At around 6-630 pm, both your Papa and I would be rushing home so we can still be with you while you're still awake. Your Papa would usually be the first to arrive. The two of you will play and read together and as soon as Mama arrives, a few mins later, you'd start signalling that you'd want to latch to Mama. You'd wiggle out of your Papa's hugs and try to get to Mama. Mama would once again undress and latch you on till you fall asleep or until Mama gets too hungry and begs for dinner. By the time Mama and Papa finish dinner, you'd be asleep. Like clockwork, your Papa will turn on either his laptop or your Mama's ipad and play bedtime music as you sleep. He'd dim the lights and be the noise police in case your Mama is still making noise. If Mama is not yet tired, your Mama and Papa would sit on the couch and catch up with each other about our day. We'd sometimes head out and go visit the house we are currently renovating and walk hand in hand back to you feeling blessed that our little family will soon have a permanent home. Mama would usually feel sleepy by this time so your Papa would be the one to watch over you until past midnight when your Ate Jinky will sleep with you again because Mama and Papa's room cannot fit your cot. When you wake up at night, your Ate Jinky brings you to Mama and your Papa will get your little inclined bed ready so Mama can feed you. Once you are done, your Papa will bring you back to Ate Jinky until it's 7am again and we once again enjoy another day with you.
On Friday nights until Sunday, your Papa takes care of you 24/7. He would watch over you from Friday evening and even without sleep, make sure you get to do your morning walk (sometimes with Mama if she is not too lazy to wake up). After your morning walk, your Papa would start running a warm bath for you). He would get into the tub and Mama would then bring you over so you and Papa can swim. Papa would play with you so you'd get used to the water while Mama makes a nuisance of herself by splashing you guys with water. Once you're done, your Mama would carry you and bring lay you down on a warm towel. Your Papa will choose the cutest clothes you've got and capture your weekly photos, edit it and post it to share with all your Papa and Mama's friends.
Such is the wonderful life we live together now that you're 6 month old. With you starting on solids, with us moving to a new home, with Mama going to the US soon, I know these precious moments and happy routine will change. This is why I thought I'd record all these moments for posterity. I hope you get to read this someday and know how much more meaningful you've made your Papa and Mama's life. I hope you get to be a great Papa like your Papa is someday. More than anything, I hope that you get to live a life that is as happy. Such is my birthday wish for you. I love you Anak.
Love,
Mama

Our First Trek (Breastfeeding Diary Part 1)

It's June 27 2014. Over 3 months or nearly 99 days have passed since you and I have ventured into the Mt Everest of mother and baby bonding, breastfeeding.

Armed But Ignorant
There are so many cliches around breastfeeding and little boy, didn't we experience them all?
I start the cliche rolling by saying that nothing really prepares you for it. When I was pregnant with you, mothers and non-mothers around me asked if I would breastfeed you. The tv commercials, doctors, and mommy forums advocate breastfeeding so I just nodded my head in ignorance, partially also because I was so consumed by the aches and pains of pregnancy and fears around giving birth that I had no energy to think so far ahead. Tools wise, your papa and I were as ready as a well armed soldier who has never fired his gun. We had breast pumps, breast shields, milk bags, boppy, nipple cream, nursing pads, nursing cover, and all other items that a new parent can get their hands on.

The First Assisted Latch
An hour after giving birth to you or after surgery, the nurse handed you to me so you can latch. I guess the nurse have already met so many clueless first time mothers before because she was already pulling out my breast even before I can say anything. So there you were, latching for the first time. I felt so peaceful while you latched and I looked on in silence. In my mind, I was thinking that it was not so bad. A little ticklish but somewhat easy. That moment of profound peace only lasted for a few hours because 3 hours after, they came back to ask me to latch you again. Once again, I was manhandled by another duty nurse because I didn't really know how to do it again.

The First Drop
Our first crisis came on your 3rd day when the nurse told me that they had to put you under the bidi light because you had slight jaundice. Apparently, apart from latching and stimulating my nipples, you would need to really start drinking milk from me to prevent dehydration and to also flush out the bilirubin from the jaundice. The slight problem there was that, nothing was coming out. Zilch.
Your Tita Lala breastfed your Kuya Keegan before so she matter of factly said that I would need to start squeezing my breasts for something to come out. I pressed here and there but none came. Your Tita Lala then volunteered to do the job and squeezed left, right and center until a creamy yellow dot came out. Liquid gold - finally, colostrum!

The Victory Walk
An hour and a couple of tears plus a very tender breast later, we had enough drops to cover a 20cent surface. Surely that was not enough to feed my 2.8kg and thirsty baby? The duty nurse came, looked at the precious little drops and warned once again that a baby can only survive without milk 4 hrs after delivery so I should probably consider a supplement. Your papa and your Tita Lala waited for me to say something, almost in silent accord to consider supplementing. I don't know why but I suddenly developed a resolve then and there to breastfeed all the way. I bit my lip, asked the nurse to feed the 20cent colostrum to you and committed to give more in another 3 hours.
By this time, your Tita Lala had to go home so your papa and I were left alone. We were both inexperienced, both tired and both willing ourselves to do something. I've expressed the left breast while your papa awkwardly expressed the right. An hour and a couple of tense moments later, we have covered the surface of the cup! I insisted to bring the few precious drops to you personally so I can make sure that the nurse would get to feed you with our hard earned milk. Your papa was concerned about my stitches but I was insistent so he accompanied me to the nursery. We held hands, held the precious little cup and had a tiny smile in our hearts. It was our victory walk towards you.

To be continued....

Your Shoe Collection

Rafael,

Look at your  baby shoe collection! Most of it are from your cousin Keegan while the cute brown booties were gifts from your Tita Gaill - she brought it here to our house last night from Dubai.

Mama kept thinking of ways to keep your shoes organised and visible so we can use them when we you need it. Best of all, the whole thing cost Mama 0 centavo as she just reused old ribbons and clips to create this. Do you like it? Hope you do as Mama loves it! Hehehe. Mwaaaah!

Love,

Mama

What's In A Name?

If you noticed, I've been calling you Baby the whole time. I will be very honest, it's because until yesterday (March 1), mama and papa haven't been successful in choosing a name for you.

Some of the strong contenders for your name were:

• Joross  - combination of Joy, Rommel, and your late grandmother Rosa. While meaningful, the name garnered ridicule from all as the name is similar to a B rated actor in the Philippines

       

• Red
• River
• Ross
• Rai

• Jommel - recommendation from your Tita Lala; combination of Joy and Rommel. Ewwww, I must say.Your Tita Gaill, Tita April, Tita Janice, and Tita Lala persisted on calling you Jommel during the time we haven't picked your name yet.
• Ayrton - your papa is an avid fan of Aytron Senna, a legendary F1 race car drive and even before marriage, your papa would always refer to "Ayrton" whenever he talks about our future kid
      

Your papa and I had simple wishes for your name. They were as follows:

• It must start with the letter "R". Why? Your mama wanted to retain the tradition in your papa's family. All the names of your papa's siblings begin with the letter "R".
• Your name must depict someone who is simple, kind, wise - qualities your mama and your papa value the most
• And of course, your name must be unique, must not be subject to ridicule etc.

You were exactly in your 35th week and the night before your mama and papa were discussing your name. We were feeling a bit pressured because until then, we have not picked your name. Your mama had dreams, worries regarding it and in an act of desperation began to consider naming you as "Jommel". 

Eureka moment...

The moment of pure inspiration came when your mama and papa, hands held, went to a hospital tour in Mt. Alvernia during your 35th week. While the tour guide was busy explaining the hospital's layout, your mama spotted the name of the ward - "St. Raphael's Ward". It was as if lightning struck. Your mama immediately whispered the name to your papa and your papa's face lit up. It was perfect. It was you. 

We can't wait to see you, our son: Rafael Ayrton Marquez. Your nickname: Rai - ask your papa! - still to be discussed!!!

Raphael

The name is of the meaning God has healed. A biblical name, it is derived from the elements 'rapha' meaning to heal ; 'el' God, powerful. Rephael (Hebrew) is an older form of Raphael. The name was borne by one of the seven archangels who appeared in the apocryphal tale of Tobias but was not named in the Bible. The short form Rapha was borne by several minor Old Testament characters in the Bible. It was consequently a favourite among early Christians, but its medieval use was mainly Jewish, before its widespread adoption among English speakers by the 16th century. The name was borne by the famous Italian Renaissance painter and architect Raphael Sanzio (1483-1520). In Europe, the name has been more popular in the southern countries than in England. It later saw a modest revival at the endof the 19th century. The name Raphaela (English and German) is the female form of Raphael.

Raphael is a widely used name; it has 36 variants that are used in English and other languages. Variants used in English include Falito, Raf, Rafe, Rafello, Raffello, Raffi, Raph, Rapha, Raphaello,Raphale, Rapheal, Raphello, Raphie, Raphiel, and Ravel. The pet form Rafi is another English variant.

The Big Reveal

Baby,

Mama and papa immediately shared the news of your impending arrival to your lolo/lola, tito/titas and some close friends but we waited until the end of the first semester to announce your presence to the world. Your papa was also so happy to learn that he was going to have a son during your 20th detailed scan. 

Love,

Mama

Coming Out Soon! - first trimester

It's  a Boy! - 20th week

Shopping and Getting Ready for You

Baby,

Mama often gets teased by your Tita Lala because Mama did not buy any stuff for you until after Christmas. Mama wants you to grow up to be a simple boy, not attached to material things but more to the simple pleasures in life. She waited till Tita Lala handed over your cousin Keegan's old stuff. Tita April, Tita Gaill, and Tita Rhona even lent you a lot of stuff as well. 

After this, your papa and your Tita Lala went to Mothercare and scanned the prices of items that you'd need while Mama sat on a chair while watching them (her back was aching). Upon reaching home, your papa ordered most of your stuff in Amazon global - with free shipping! He was ecstatic when they finally arrived.

The next big purchase mama and papa did was when they attended the baby fair in expo. There, mama and papa finally bought your crib, stroller and other essentials. Just in time as after that, mama developed high blood pressure and could no longer go shopping.

Mother Care vs Amazon Global Free Delivery

Your Crib inside Your Nursery

your papa assembled your crib as soon as he came home on the day your crib arrived. before that, he packed our hospital bag, cleaned the nursery, hand washed your clothes, and sprayed dettol every single day to ensure your room would be ready when you arrive. your papa is outstanding indeed!

Doctor Check Ups

Baby,

Do you know that mama and papa never missed a single one of your pre-natal appointments? There were even times when mama would become so paranoid and want to ensure you're ok that she'll visit the doctor way ahead of the appointment =) She was even rushed to the emergency hospital in St Lukes Global Manila during their Christmas vacation because she was imagining that she had an incompetent cervix. After two visits and too many tests - the doctor told her that her cervix was very competent indeed!

Mama was relatively healthy while carrying you inside her tummy except for a few misadventures with allergy, left leg & upper back pain (had to go to physiotherapy 3 times), stretch marks, gas pains, and high blood pressure (bed rest for weeks!). Easy peasy!

Love,

Mama

First Doctor's Visit - 5 weeks 

As soon as we learned we were expecting you, we met our ob-gyne immediately and during the first checkup, you were still not visible so they just took mama's blood and had it tested. 

Second Doctor's Visit - 7th Week

 During the second, you finally appeared as a baby sac but no heartbeat just yet. Papa was caught taking a picture - we didn't know it was not allowed till then so we kept it anyway =P

Emergency Hospital Visit 

Mama suddenly developed allergies so I was rushed by your papa to emergency in Simei General Hospital. The doctor was pressuring mama to take steroids but she refused - good thing we didn't take it as our ob-gyne later confirmed that it won't do you any good. A little anti-histhamine made it go away after 3 days. Your papa even bought a number of bed bug sprays and tackled the bed in case it was the one causing mama the hives.

                        

        

TLC - 35th Week Visit

We changed ob-gyne after mama got an ob-gyne recommendation from Tita April.

See picture of mama below looking stunned during your 35th week as she was just advised to take a prolonged bed rest due to high blood pressure. Too much excitement from Mama!

Childbirth Classes

Baby,

Only your papa has experience taking care of little ones as he took care of your cousins when they were young. Mama is absolutely inexperienced so we both enrolled in Childbirth classes in Mt. Alvernia, the hospital we have chosen where you'll first open your eyes to the world. 

Love,

Mama

First Day

What to eat/not eat; all about nutrition 

 Second Day 
Floor exercises to get fit (hmm, maybe a bit too late for this)

 Third Day 
Labor practice, we had much fun pretending to give birth anytime soon. After this class,

mama did not feel very well and the following week developed high blood pressure so we did not make it to the fourth class.

Our First Family Photos

Baby,

Your papa loves taking pictures. See some of our first family pictures as you were cooking inside mama's bun. 

Love,

Mama

July 2013

we received a call from the clinic where they told us that the blood test confirmed your arrival.

your papa bought a mini cake to celebrate. we were so happy =)

August 2013

your papa booked a staycation in Studio M during a long weekend - our last staycation before you arrive.

he carried heavy camera equipment so he can take photos of us. he was so excited!

September 2013

mama's office boss invited the entire team to celebrate Octoberfest at the Swiss Club and asked the team to bring their other half. mama and papa went and had so much fun! your papa had way too much fun that i'll have a story to tell you when you're a lot bigger. hehehe! look, mama was just drinking apple cider - no alcohol the whole time!

October 2013

we flew to the philippines and you rode a plane for the first time when we went to cebu to celebrate

lolo frank's 70th birthday.

November 2013

we were heading out to go to tita april's house in punggol when your papa thought of doing a little photo op to announce

your gender - our little boy!

December 2013

on our first christmas together, your papa printed out copies of our family picture and tagged it to our christmas presents.

January 2014

your tita lala flew all the way to singapore to surprise mama and 

you with a wonderful baby shower party - it was nautical inspired!

February 2014

mama and papa enrolled in childbirth classes - below was a picture during our floor exercises. 

mama got way too big - look at her!

March 2014

mama's blood pressure shot up and she was put on bed rest. this picture was one of the very few instances wherein your mama got to get out of bed and out of the house (but within the condo). 

after 30 mins, we packed up as mama's back started to hurt.

Cooking In Mama's Bun

Baby,

We are starting this blog so we can share with you the joy that your papa and I felt when you came into our life. I hope you get to read this when you grow up so you'll know how special you are. 

There will be days when you yourself will doubt that you're special, that you're loved. 

I hope this little blog reminds you that you will always have someone who loves you, who thinks the world of you. I love you anak. We can't wait to see you soon!

See your first pictures below =)

Love,

Mama

                      July 27 pregnancy test

                                                 - when you first made your presence felt!

5 weeks

7 weeks

15 weeks

20 weeks

25 weeks

30 weeks

34 weeks

35 weeks