It's June 27 2014. Over 3 months or nearly 99 days have passed since you and I have ventured into the Mt Everest of mother and baby bonding, breastfeeding.
Armed But Ignorant
There are so many cliches around breastfeeding and little boy, didn't we experience them all?
I start the cliche rolling by saying that nothing really prepares you for it. When I was pregnant with you, mothers and non-mothers around me asked if I would breastfeed you. The tv commercials, doctors, and mommy forums advocate breastfeeding so I just nodded my head in ignorance, partially also because I was so consumed by the aches and pains of pregnancy and fears around giving birth that I had no energy to think so far ahead. Tools wise, your papa and I were as ready as a well armed soldier who has never fired his gun. We had breast pumps, breast shields, milk bags, boppy, nipple cream, nursing pads, nursing cover, and all other items that a new parent can get their hands on.
The First Assisted Latch
An hour after giving birth to you or after surgery, the nurse handed you to me so you can latch. I guess the nurse have already met so many clueless first time mothers before because she was already pulling out my breast even before I can say anything. So there you were, latching for the first time. I felt so peaceful while you latched and I looked on in silence. In my mind, I was thinking that it was not so bad. A little ticklish but somewhat easy. That moment of profound peace only lasted for a few hours because 3 hours after, they came back to ask me to latch you again. Once again, I was manhandled by another duty nurse because I didn't really know how to do it again.
The First Drop
Our first crisis came on your 3rd day when the nurse told me that they had to put you under the bidi light because you had slight jaundice. Apparently, apart from latching and stimulating my nipples, you would need to really start drinking milk from me to prevent dehydration and to also flush out the bilirubin from the jaundice. The slight problem there was that, nothing was coming out. Zilch.
Your Tita Lala breastfed your Kuya Keegan before so she matter of factly said that I would need to start squeezing my breasts for something to come out. I pressed here and there but none came. Your Tita Lala then volunteered to do the job and squeezed left, right and center until a creamy yellow dot came out. Liquid gold - finally, colostrum!
The Victory Walk
An hour and a couple of tears plus a very tender breast later, we had enough drops to cover a 20cent surface. Surely that was not enough to feed my 2.8kg and thirsty baby? The duty nurse came, looked at the precious little drops and warned once again that a baby can only survive without milk 4 hrs after delivery so I should probably consider a supplement. Your papa and your Tita Lala waited for me to say something, almost in silent accord to consider supplementing. I don't know why but I suddenly developed a resolve then and there to breastfeed all the way. I bit my lip, asked the nurse to feed the 20cent colostrum to you and committed to give more in another 3 hours.
By this time, your Tita Lala had to go home so your papa and I were left alone. We were both inexperienced, both tired and both willing ourselves to do something. I've expressed the left breast while your papa awkwardly expressed the right. An hour and a couple of tense moments later, we have covered the surface of the cup! I insisted to bring the few precious drops to you personally so I can make sure that the nurse would get to feed you with our hard earned milk. Your papa was concerned about my stitches but I was insistent so he accompanied me to the nursery. We held hands, held the precious little cup and had a tiny smile in our hearts. It was our victory walk towards you.
To be continued....
